Our Dark Corner

I'm not sure if it's good or not as yet, but this blog seems to be a secret place where I get to talk about the difficulties in my life. Actually the more I consider it, the more I think it's probably a good thing that people don't read this. Honestly I don't want to go on about the sad areas of my life, but the thing is, Caleb and his social and behavioural difficulties is a big part of my life.

The first school holidays for this year are almost over, and it hasn't been too bad. If I wasn't working, we went out every day. Caleb is not one to stay at home. Every night he needs me to go over what we are doing the next day, and it needs to be repeated so he can remember. That's down to the details of what we do when we wake up the morning. When he wakes he asks me again what day is it and what are we doing that day.

Currently, I'm trying to curb Caleb's screaming. His loud outbursts are becoming unbearable at times, and pushes me to my limit. He knows it's annoying and unacceptable, but he's having trouble controlling his impulses. Due to his inability to communicate - especially when he's excited - is causing him to scream and squeal. Again it all comes back to him learning methods to communicate. He needs to learn some simple sentences he can use at all times to express what he's thinking/feeling. It's a slow process.

Another problem is the swearing. This is a big problem. The 'F' word is coming out in nearly every sentence. What is going on?! I know it's not me. I know who does swear, but that has been denied. I don't want to point fingers but where ever it's coming from it needs to be stopped or at least curbed. We have gotten bitches out of his language, but now he is saying fat arse! I can laugh about right now - and I do alittle - because it's so ridiculous. But when he's yelling it out, or he says it to his gran, it ain't very funny. Oh man! Sometimes he sounds like an old teenager, the way he swears. He doesn't even know what he's saying.

Then he starts saying God's name. How do you explain you shouldn't be using god's name - well at least not like that. Most likely he hears me saying God's name, and that's not as a swear word, but as a genuine cry of help! yes he probably hears that alot. Help me, God! Please help me deal with this child you gave me. You made him this way God - help me understand him.
And truly, it is happening. Things are changing for us and I have more hope now than I did before.

We have had a good holiday. I've noticed a change in Caleb. He's getting older. Recently he's become quite attached to his father. He misses him when he comes back to me, and he's been upset enough to cry about it. This is a first, he has never missed him like this before. It's been unsettling for me, I'm not sure how to deal with it. I expect it will only increase as he gets older and needs the company of a male more frequently.

I have to tell this funny story.... just cuz it's so silly. Cabe and I were at the Maccas drive through, and an Indian man, with an elaborate purple and red turban on with a huge gold broach, he also had a little goatee and moustache.
and Cabe screamed out - very loudly - 'A Genie!' and he pointed across the car, he really thought that's what the guy was.
I laughed a little and tried not to catch the poor man's eye and drove away quickly.
hopefully he was laughing. I laughed later.

heheheeee